Saturday, April 24, 2010
10:11 PM
Finally,I've got a chance to post without anyone looking.
Erm,few days ago, i had a chat with my mum bout her high school life, and it all sounded really interesting and all but why does mine has to sound so dramatic?? he he... there was once my mum said to me that whatever you face in school now is just a training for you when you face challenges in your adult life ahead..
and i find it quite true.
I've been thinking to myself lately, if i transfer school now, will it make me feel happy that i don't have to see my overly dramatic friends again, or will it make my friends angry and feel backstabbed.
-sigh-
geez i have so much on my mind now,and i dunno where to start.forgive me,if this is gonna be a really long post.
Turtle and peacock thinks i should let out my anger or 1 day i will become a murderer.I asked my mum and she said you better let it out,or one day it will become a bombshell and you tend to do silly things like committing suicide. Right now,i can feel the fire inside burning and my whole face is turning really red...I want to,but when it comes to that moment of anger, i tend to keep it inside,and scream and shout inside my heart.
My mum says that i'm the kind of person that is too nice and gets bully or cheated very easily,and never open up my feelings to anyone.That might explain why i'm so hard to be figured out.The GDs knows me well,but you guys can never know how i'm feeling inside,its just complicated.
And i've finally decided to go for counselling. I'm planning to go every Saturday evening,and maybe i can try to open up my heart and let all my feelings out.
From today onwards, watever trouble or tears Turkey is gonna cause me,i'm just gonna shut up, keep it in and smile...until one day i cant hold in anymore,i'll go kill myself or something.
I can finally accept the fact that i don't belong in this life,and i'm better off dead. No one understands me FULL STOP.
Signing off,
~the miserable swan that has lost its elegance~
* The World Should Know * ;
*****
